ZPE_Logo
  
Search        
  Create an account Home  ·  Topics  ·  Downloads  ·  Your Account  ·  Submit News  ·  Top 10  
Mission Statement

Modules
· Home
· Forum
· LATEST COMMENTS
· Special Sections
· SUPPORT ZPEnergy
· Advertising
· AvantGo
· Books
· Downloads
· Events
· Feedback
· Link to us
· Private Messages
· Search
· Stories Archive
· Submit News
· Surveys
· Top 10
· Topics
· Web Links
· Your Account

Who's Online
There are currently, 239 guest(s) and 0 member(s) that are online.

You are Anonymous user. You can register for free by clicking here

Events
  • (August 7, 2024 - August 11, 2024) 2024 ExtraOrdinary Technology Conference

  • Hot Links
    Aetherometry

    American Antigravity

    Closeminded Science

    EarthTech

    ECW E-Cat World

    Innoplaza

    Integrity Research Institute

    New Energy Movement

    New Energy Times

    Panacea-BOCAF

    RexResearch

    Science Hobbyist

    T. Bearden Mirror Site

    USPTO

    Want to Know

    Other Info-Sources
    NE News Sites
    AER_Network
    E-Cat World
    NexusNewsfeed ZPE
    NE Discussion Groups
    Energetic Forum
    EMediaPress
    Energy Science Forum
    Free_Energy FB Group
    The KeelyNet Blog
    OverUnity Research
    Sarfatti_Physics
    Tesla Science Foundation (FB)
    Vortex (old Interact)
    Magazine Sites
    Electrifying Times (FB)
    ExtraOrdinary Technology
    IE Magazine
    New Energy Times

    Interesting Links

    Click Here for the DISCLOSURE PROJECT
    SciTech Daily Review
    NEXUS Magazine

    Bush Unveils Controversial New Energy Proposal
    Posted on Sunday, October 14, 2007 @ 23:17:19 GMT by vlad

    General WASHINGTON -- President Bush held a press conference today to announce a new energy initiative. At the heart of the initiative is an unprecedented and highly controversial proposal aimed at reducing U.S. dependence on foreign oil, as well as increasing domestic availability of other fossil fuels such as coal and natural gas. The proposal entails the mass killing and burial of plants and animals throughout the country in order to expedite their transformation into fossil fuels, which are derived from decayed organic matter, that is, matter that once made up living organisms.

    "America's oil should be American oil," declared the president. "Not being subjected to the the whim and fancy of some Middle East dictator will result in improved economic stability and national security. And through the widespread yet merciful slaughter of any and all living things, we can achieve this goal."

    If the plan goes through, 100% of forests would be clear cut and the trees put through wood chippers and subsequently buried hundreds of feet below ground in appropriate marine environments that promote fossil fuel formation through a complex series of steps. All animals in the United States would also be slaughtered and similarly buried, except for cats, dogs and the minimum number of chickens, pigs, and cattle deemed necessary to sustain their availability as a food resource.

    "Don't ask me how a raccoon can become liquidy black stuff," said Bush, veering away from his prepared speech for a moment. "But Mother Nature says it can, and I believe her."

    Bush's proposal was immediately attacked by environmental groups, and early polls suggest that the public reaction will be unfavorable.

    "I am at a loss for words," said Carl Pope, executive director of the Sierra Club, a well-reputed environmental organization. "We have been busy fighting Bush's proposal to drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, but now that has become his most environmentally friendly strategy."

    Greg Powell, a biology professor at the University of California-Berkeley, said in addition to obliterating life, the plan would not even achieve its desired result: "For one thing, the process of fossil fuel formation literally takes hundreds of millions of years."

    A spokesman for the administration responded by saying, "The president agrees with Dr. Powell that this groundbreaking new proposal will endlessly benefit future generations of Americans."

    Some of the more conservative critics of the Bush administration support the plan, but are pessimistic, citing Bush's tendency to make sweeping, grandiose statements that he doesn't follow up on.

    "I think this plan, if carried out, would make a lot of progress towards solving America's energy problem," said one pundit. "But why do I have a feeling that I am going to wake up one summer morning two years from now, walk outside, and still be surrounded by scampering squirrels and singing birds as I stand in the cool shade of a towering oak tree?"

    The response of Congress was overwhelmingly negative, with only a few senators and representatives throwing their support behind the proposal, and one, Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK), saying it doesn't go far enough.

    "Why only terminate life as we know it within our own borders?," said Inhofe. "I agree with the president that we should avoid the Middle Eat, but there are over a million caribou in Canada. That's oil waiting to happen." Inhofe added that the United States should also act quickly to secure future fossil fuels from the Amazon rain forest before the agriculture and timber industries finish clearing it. "We have an obligation to the American people to rape this valuable tract of land."

    The Bush administration's last energy initiative, which fell through, included an unpopular proposal to extract energy from the hot inner core of the earth to heat homes and buildings. Critics claimed the administration knew full well this was not a viable alternative to oil or gas, and was merely posturing.

    The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
    If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

    Source: http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i25742



     
    Login
    Nickname

    Password

    Security Code: Security Code
    Type Security Code

    Don't have an account yet? You can create one. As a registered user you have some advantages like theme manager, comments configuration and post comments with your name.

    Related Links
    · More about General
    · News by vlad


    Most read story about General:
    Z machine melts diamond to puddle


    Article Rating
    Average Score: 0
    Votes: 0

    Please take a second and vote for this article:

    Excellent
    Very Good
    Good
    Regular
    Bad


    Options

     Printer Friendly Printer Friendly


    "Bush Unveils Controversial New Energy Proposal" | Login/Create an Account | 0 comments
    The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.

    No Comments Allowed for Anonymous, please register

     

    All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owner. The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2002-2016 by ZPEnergy. Disclaimer: No content, on or affiliated with ZPEnergy should be construed as or relied upon as investment advice. While every effort is made to ensure that the information contained on ZPEnergy is correct, the operators of ZPEnergy make no warranties as to its accuracy. In all respects visitors should seek independent verification and investment advice.
    Keywords: ZPE, ZPF, Zero Point Energy, Zero Point Fluctuations, ZPEnergy, New Energy Technology, Small Scale Implementation, Energy Storage Technology, Space-Energy, Space Energy, Natural Potential, Investors, Investing, Vacuum Energy, Electromagnetic, Over Unity, Overunity, Over-Unity, Free Energy, Free-Energy, Ether, Aether, Cold Fusion, Cold-Fusion, Fuel Cell, Quantum Mechanics, Van der Waals, Casimir, Advanced Physics, Vibrations, Advanced Energy Conversion, Rotational Magnetics, Vortex Mechanics, Rotational Electromagnetics, Earth Electromagnetics, Gyroscopes, Gyroscopic Effects

    PHP-Nuke Copyright © 2005 by Francisco Burzi. This is free software, and you may redistribute it under the GPL. PHP-Nuke comes with absolutely no warranty, for details, see the license.